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When Self Discovery Takes an Unexpected Turn

A part of my recent birthday, I decided that since I had realized the most valuable lessons I learned during the past twelve months, I would take some time to do a little more self discovery. I was expecting to uncover even more positive pearls of wisdom about myself that I did not know, and end my birthday weekend full of enthusiasm and positive energy; ready to walk into my new age stronger and happier than ever.


I was so off-base in my thinking.


Instead, an array of unexpected situations occurred that acted almost like a mirror: a reflection showing me who I was and what I had become. The result was stark revelations about my personality that I was not too fond of and certainly did not take too well. With each instance I felt angry, dejected, and most of all, hurt.


I cried. A lot.


But like I said before: tears help to cleanse the soul as well as the eyes.


The situations forced me to face some rather harsh realities about some of my character traits and take a long and hard look at myself. Even though I did not like what I had discovered, in the end I was grateful because had I never uncovered the bad stuff, I would not have ever had the knowledge needed to make the fixes and adjustments necessary for my personal growth.


The weekend was the absolute opposite of what I anticipated it would be, but that does not mean that it was entirely all bad. Actually, it was wonderful because of the wealth of revelations that took place—ones that probably would have never happened otherwise.


The biggest lesson that I learned overall is when it comes to self discovery, in life we are always ready and willing to welcome the positive life lessons (you know what Marvin Sapp says in his song: I’m stronger, I’m wiser, etc.) but it seems to be a much different story when the lessons are not so flattering. However, if we ever want to grow—I mean, truly grow—then we must learn to bite the bullet, and be brave enough to accept the bad truths about ourselves with the good ones. Then and only then will be in a position where we are able to work towards evolving into the best possible version of ourselves. Only then can we really reach our highest potential and become mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally all that we are meant to be.



 Have you ever had a defining moment of self discovery that didn’t turn out the way that you expected? How do you cope with learning truths about yourself that are considered less-than-flattering? Share with me below or tell me about it at: melisasource@yahoo.com.




Wife. Mom. Believer. Writer. Advocate.

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One of the most difficult things in life is admitting that we are not perfect! Looking in the mirror, knowing that we make mistakes and are not perfect is a huge life lesson!

Makeba Giles
Reply to  Deanna

Greetings: Yes I agree that admitting and embracing imperfections is a very difficult thing to do, but when it is done it gives us the power and strength that we need to love on ourselves even more and make the changes that are needed to be better. Such a beautiful life lesson indeed! ~Thank you so very much for sharing here with me–I truly appreciate it! 🙂


It sounds like you had a tought birthday, but hopefully you still treated yourself to something. Good luck on what you discovered!

Makeba Giles
Reply to  Gina

Greetings: Thank you so much for the well-wishes! Yes even though the weekend was a rather rough one, I am still very thankful for all of the beautiful blessings on growth that came out of it! 🙂 ~Thank you so much for sharing here with me-I appreciate it! 🙂

The Cubicle Chick

You are such positive spirit. You glow when you walk into the room and I love you for that. Self discovery is a powerful thing. I know you are just getting started 🙂

Makeba Giles

Greetings: You, my friend are the one that lights up the room the moment you walk in–your aura gives more positive energy and light than you know, and that is what I love you for!! 🙂 Thank you so very much for your kind and beautiful words and your inspiration–It means more to me than you can imagine! ~I truly appreciate you sharing here with me! 🙂

Heather ~ Acting Balanced Mom

Happy belated birthday – every experience and self reflection makes you stronger!

Makeba Giles

Greetings: Thank you so very much for the Birthday wishes and your kind words–I sincerely appreciate it! 🙂

Deeone Higgs

You know, Makeba, I have mad respect for you because you allow yourself to be so transparent, here on MELISASource. That, my friend, is what self-discovery is all about. It’s about acknowledging not only those good moments we’d like for other’s to see, but unleashing the bad ones, as well. I believe it’s the bad ones that help others see that whatever their going through is possible to overcome. I read this moment a quote that said, “Tears are the words the heart can’t express.” The place you’re currently at in your life in this post, I’ve certainly been there… Read more »

Makeba Giles
Reply to  Deeone Higgs

Greetings: your kind and encouraging words mean a great deal to me Deeone. I wanted to share my experience in hope that it encourages others to be accepting of all things about themselves–even if it is stuff that is not-so-good. You hit the nail on the head: oftentimes such things are revealed to us when life is calling us to leave the shores of our familiar and step out into the deep towards our destiny. With this experience, I have learned that is it the acknowledgement that correction is needed and the willingness to do it is what helps to… Read more »


Love coming over and being encouraged by your posts. Thanks so much. Sometimes we have to cry to get where we need to go. Know that your latter will be greater than your former days and you have a blessed and prosperous year.

Makeba Giles
Reply to  Val

Greetings: I am so glad to know that you find encouragement here–that means a lot to me! ~Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words I sincerely appreciate it! 🙂


How brave you are to not only uncover things that hurt, that make you cringe but to share that with the world. Lots of the work I do with clients as a Coach is to help them do some of that digging and it’s hard. Tears are healing most assuradly but as you realized..you can’t change what you don’t like of you don’t ever look at it or choose to see it. There is a beautiful acceptance of being imperfect but still perfectly wonderful that comes when you can be objective about who you are isnt’ there? Keep on being… Read more »

Makeba Giles
Reply to  Bonnie

Greetings: You said it exactly– the moment that we realize and understand that no one is perfect, but rather “perfectly imperfect” is when the doors of self-discovery open up for us to begin our journey to being better versions of ourselves. I agree: there is wonderful beauty in power in being objective with your own self.

Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing here with me Bonnie — I sincerely appreciate it! 🙂


Makeba thank you so much. This helped me in so many ways. First it gets me closer to the normal (whatever that is lol) I seek. I have been traveling with my job a lot lately and in turn have been spending a lot of time getting to know my special (crazy) self. Some I love and some I hate as well but every time I make a promise not to do the things I don’t like about me. I fail in turn failing me. However after reading this it could be those imperfections that make me perfect ! Thank… Read more »

Makeba Giles
Reply to  Robbyne

Greetings Robbyne! I am so glad to hear that this post helped you! I was hesitant to share my experience at first, but my hopes was that others can see that no one is ever alone in what they are going through or whatever they may be feeling or discovering about themselves. We all have new things to be discovered everyday–it is the acknowledgement and embracing of those discoveries–whether good or not-so-good–that makes us grow and makes us beautiful. 🙂 ~Thank you so much for sharing here with me– I truly appreciate it! 🙂

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