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The Reason Why You Cannot Have It Both Ways

You know how the old saying goes: “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” So very true, yet so many people still try to do it in many areas of life.


It simply is not possible.


Please allow me to share some examples of what I mean:


In Relationships:

You cannot claim to love someone yet disrespect them, treat them unkindly, or purposely do and say things to upset them or hurt their heart.

You cannot say that you care about someone yet rarely show a genuine interest in them, or take time to check on their well-being—only doing so when you want something.



In Life:

You cannot constantly say that you want to achieve a particular goal, yet do absolutely nothing (or the bare minimum) to get it.

You cannot claim that you believe in yourself and your abilities—or even say that you have self-confidence and high self-esteem—if you are too afraid to prove it.

You cannot wish for the fruits of hard labor yet complain about or try to avoid hard labor.



In General:

You cannot expect for people to be there for you in your time of need when you are known for turning a blind eye and deaf ear to their needs.




You most certainly cannot expect support when you do not make efforts to support others.


Love, faith, relationships, and achievement, and success all require not only a lot of work but also a sincere and serious amount of dedication and commitment—to the point where it is almost bewildering to others as to why you are doing what you are doing. There is no other way around it.


Go ahead and try to have it both ways if you want to, and watch how far you get!



It is easy to crave the benefits of things in life (relationships, career, goals achieved, etc.). The hard part comes with fully embracing and operating in the responsibilities of those things. This is something that very few people are ready for—or want to do at all.


When you try to have it both ways you only end up hurting yourself—and sometimes even alienating others in the process.


Why am I saying this?


There needs to be a authentic and wholehearted desire to be better in every area in life. That type of desire requires action: whether the action is a word or plan or movement; or if it is simply being silent, staying reserved, or in some cases—walking away. The sacrifices made to choose one path of character and one destiny today will indeed lead to those wonderful desired benefits in the future. But only one person can make those choices—and that person is you.


Bottom line: true desire requires true change within. You simply cannot have it both ways. 



Wife. Mom. Believer. Writer. Advocate.

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