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The Joy of Accepting Yourself Despite Your Flaws


You may think that it’s not possible to accept yourself while simultaneously despising your faults, but this isn’t the case. Once you do, you’ll see how much freer life becomes.


Trust me: I’m a witness. Let’s look at some crucial ways to get there.



Acceptance is Key to Joy

Accepting yourself is an essential step to living a happy life. Just likes me, you’ve probably felt the pain of failing, of not living up to your expectations of yourself.



But what about the shame of believing the lies you tell yourself about yourself? It’s common knowledge that a person can be their own worst critic.


Once you learn to accept yourself fully, the faults you think you have been seen in a completely different light, and you’re no longer so hard on yourself. Once you figure this concept out, you’ll notice that you’re more “accepting” in other situations in life. Learning to practice the idea successfully begins your ability to “flow” rather than always “do,” which makes all the difference for other problems you might be experiencing.




Notice and Stop Using Judging Statements


This step requires you to be more mindful of the things you say to yourself. Most people have an entire tape that plays over and over in their minds on specific topics.



If you start noticing the language of these thoughts, you’ll see how negative it is. The tape is most likely filled with judging statements like:


  • That’s too much food!
  • You should/shouldn’t speak up.
  • You should/shouldn’t be sad.
  • You should/shouldn’t be so happy.
  • That’s awful! How dare you!


These statements vary from person to person. The key to understanding which statements are judging views is that you will always feel a form of condemnation or shame after you think about them.


As you notice these types of self-judging thoughts, challenge them one by one. You won’t be perfect at it, but you can start getting a handle on it.


If you’re accepting yourself as you are, is the thought you just had still true? If you need help being more mindful about which ideas are negative self-talk and which ones are helpful, you can always try an app as UnwindingAnxiety.com provides.



Be Radically Honest About What You Want and Don’t Want


If you didn’have to be accountable to anyone around you for any reason and money didn’t exist:


  • What things would you really be doing in life?
  • What behaviors would you just never put up with again from family, friends, co-workers, or strangers?
  • How would you start and end your day?
  • Where might you live that’s different than right now?
  • What things have you always been curious about trying but never followed through in attempting?


Once you start being extremely honest about these questions, be 100% accepting of the answers. There are no right or wrong answers. You’re uncovering the true you when you do this.



Your Flaws Aren’t Actually Flaws

By this point, hopefully, you can see that your flaws are not flaws. Keep in mind, true unhealthy addictions to alcohol, drugs, anger, or lawlessness are not covered in the definition of “flaws.”



Instead, focus on the things you didn’t use to like about yourself; perhaps a bit of extra flab here and there, your unwanted facial hair, or the fact you’ve been previously considered unattractive. These are only considered “flaws” because someone else said they were!


If you’re genuinely accepting of yourself, you’ll start seeing these things like everything that makes you unique. For example, a traveler embraced all her stretch marks on her lower body by proclaiming, “Each one is a road I’ve either traveled or one I’ve yet to explore.” That was the end of her disgust with her stretch marks.



Genuinely be Proud of Who You Are


Be proud of who you are on the inside and out! Being genuine about it isn’t something you can fake. Once you feel it “for real,” you’ll notice your joy radiating, you won’t speak to yourself so negatively, and you’ll notice just how much happier life is.



Some people find the journey scary and uncomfortable at first but know these are the exact feelings you want to feel, even if only a little bit. It means you’re getting out of your comfort zone.



Remember: this journey of life is a private one between you and yourself, one you deserve to be successful at. Once you’ve fully “crossed over,” you’ll begin to feel far freer in life. You’ll feel like you finally have permission to expand in areas of your life you’ve always wanted to explore.




Now, Go forth and be happy!


Wife. Mom. Believer. Writer. Advocate.

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