First, let me say that I hope the title of this writing does not offend anyone. I really did not know any other way to say it.

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See, a lot has been happening in my life these past few weeks. Good and bad, but mostly good. A wave of blessings and great ideas came at me in a short span of time, and I was excited to share my news with those who are closest to me.

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Yet when I did, the responses were certainly not what I expected.

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I got snarks. I got side-eyes. I got folded arms and replies of, “Hmmm, that’s good” that reeked with insincerity. In some cases, I got all of the negatives and down sides of what I shared spewed at me. Other cases, I was given the whole “Why don’t you (insert lesser-than alternative) instead” spiel.

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:-/

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People bother me when they act like that. You know:  those people who are the most wonderful folks on earth when good things are happening for them, but turn instantly into Negative Nate or Nancy whenever good things happen for others? During my ordeal, I wondered what the problem was that the people with whom I was sharing could not be happy for someone else—especially if it is someone that they love.

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That was frustrating to me.

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After I took some time to think about it, I realized that people who behave in such ways are not selfish, they are simply acting out of fear.

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Yep, you read that right – fear. Allow me to explain:

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When people behave in this way, it is usually because they are seeing relationships/connections as a scale. In their mind, the balance is determined by happiness, life satisfaction, and inner peace.

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When their friend or family member has something good happening in their lives, it ‘elevates’ that person’s levels of the above, thus leading to the perception of the ‘scale’ being unbalanced and the feelings of drifting apart from each other. So in their eyes, the relationship/connection looks like this:

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To keep that from happening (and because there is something internally that is causing them to want to remain where they are), they do the only thing they feel they can do, which is to add negativity—or ‘weight’—to their friend or family member’s space. That way, they can “come down,” making the scale even again.

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Once I realized this, it became much easier for me to deal with each person accordingly. 😉

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The moment someone would start at me with pessimism, or mean stares, I would interrupt them and say “Hey: I just shared some great news with you—don’t piss in my snow.” When they looked at me bewildered, I would proceed to explain that if they cannot be happy for me, then the conversation would go no further.

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They understood. 🙂

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Negative attitudes and behaviors used to be something that I was afraid to speak my mind on, in fear of causing discord in my friendships/relationships. Now, I have no problem telling anyone that I will not stand for it in my space. No way, no how.

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I am a positive person, and I absolutely refuse to allow anyone to piss in my snow.

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Have you ever taken a stand on pessimistic attitudes and behaviors with family members and/or friends? Do you have relationships in your life that seem to suffer from the ‘scale complex?’ With the Holidays approaching, how do you plan to communicate your beliefs and policies on negativity with those closest to you? Share with me below or tell me about it at: melisasource@yahoo.com.

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