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source-secrets-dont-piss-in-my-snow #musings

Source Secrets: PSA – Don’t Piss In My Snow

source-secrets-dont-piss-in-my-snow #musingsFirst, let me say that I hope the title of this writing does not offend anyone. I really did not know any other way to say it.

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See, a lot has been happening in my life these past few weeks. Good and bad, but mostly good. A wave of blessings and great ideas came at me in a short span of time, and I was excited to share my news with those who are closest to me.

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Yet when I did, the responses were certainly not what I expected.

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I got snarks. I got side-eyes. I got folded arms and replies of, “Hmmm, that’s good” that reeked with insincerity. In some cases, I got all of the negatives and down sides of what I shared spewed at me. Other cases, I was given the whole “Why don’t you (insert lesser-than alternative) instead” spiel.

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:-/

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People bother me when they act like that. You know:  those people who are the most wonderful folks on earth when good things are happening for them, but turn instantly into Negative Nate or Nancy whenever good things happen for others? During my ordeal, I wondered what the problem was that the people with whom I was sharing could not be happy for someone else—especially if it is someone that they love.

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That was frustrating to me.

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After I took some time to think about it, I realized that people who behave in such ways are not selfish, they are simply acting out of fear.

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Yep, you read that right – fear. Allow me to explain:

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When people behave in this way, it is usually because they are seeing relationships/connections as a scale. In their mind, the balance is determined by happiness, life satisfaction, and inner peace.

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source-secrets-dont-piss-in-my-snow #musings

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When their friend or family member has something good happening in their lives, it ‘elevates’ that person’s levels of the above, thus leading to the perception of the ‘scale’ being unbalanced and the feelings of drifting apart from each other. So in their eyes, the relationship/connection looks like this:

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To keep that from happening (and because there is something internally that is causing them to want to remain where they are), they do the only thing they feel they can do, which is to add negativity—or ‘weight’—to their friend or family member’s space. That way, they can “come down,” making the scale even again.

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Once I realized this, it became much easier for me to deal with each person accordingly. 😉

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The moment someone would start at me with pessimism, or mean stares, I would interrupt them and say Hey: I just shared some great news with you—don’t piss in my snow. When they looked at me bewildered, I would proceed to explain that if they cannot be happy for me, then the conversation would go no further.

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They understood. 🙂

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Negative attitudes and behaviors used to be something that I was afraid to speak my mind on, in fear of causing discord in my friendships/relationships. Now, I have no problem telling anyone that I will not stand for it in my space. No way, no how.

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source-secrets-dont-piss-in-my-snow #musings

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I am a positive person, and I absolutely refuse to allow anyone to piss in my snow.

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Have you ever taken a stand on pessimistic attitudes and behaviors with family members and/or friends? Do you have relationships in your life that seem to suffer from the ‘scale complex?’ With the Holidays approaching, how do you plan to communicate your beliefs and policies on negativity with those closest to you? Share with me below or tell me about it at: melisasource@yahoo.com.

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Makeba Giles is a Digital Content Producer and Founder of Faith Health and Home, a digital space with information and resources for physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being to help families live an inspired lifestyle.

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Janeane Davis

I loved this article!!!! Great job. If people cannot be happy for your success, leave them alone and keep moving. You have accomplished so much and will accomplish much more. Share your joy with people who are joyous about your accomplishments, do not let anyone water down your joy!

Misery loves company, but it does not have to be you!

Makeba Giles
Admin
Reply to  Janeane Davis

Greetings Janeane! Thanks so much! I could not agree with you more! ~I appreciate you sharing here with me! 🙂

Uneeka Jay

I love this! I also love the saying! LOL!!! So often people love to support us when we are down that they forget how to support us when we are up.

Makeba Giles
Admin
Reply to  Uneeka Jay

Greetings Uneeka! So right indeed! I am glad that you liked this one! Thank you so much for sharing here with me! 🙂

Rachee

Great message!
Love hearing the positivity! Keep moving forward and way to go!
-r

Makeba Giles
Admin
Reply to  Rachee

Greetings Rachee! Thank you so very much! I truly appreciate you sharing here with me! 🙂

Meredith

Great post! Thanks for sharing your perspective. I totally understand how you feel. There are a few people I want to tell not to piss in my snow. I like that line 🙂 It’s more sophisticated & classy than referring to naysayers as “haters.”

Makeba Giles
Admin
Reply to  Meredith

Greetings Meredith! I am glad that you enjoyed this one! Thank you so much for sharing here with me! 🙂

DjRelAt7

It’s easy to leave behind those who are not loved ones for their negative attitude. However loved ones are harder to get rid of. You are right to be up front and blunt and I absolutely love the saying. If you do not shut them down right away then their thoughts will begin to creep in and you just have to ignore those voices. Never let anyone Piss In Your Snow. Just remember for every negative voice that whispers, there is a positive one that is just as powerful. Stick with the positive people in your life and you’ll be… Read more »

Makeba Giles
Admin
Reply to  DjRelAt7

Greetings DjRelat7! You are absolutely right 100%. And I have learned that sticking with positive people is the only real way to go. 🙂 Thank you so very much for sharing here with me! 🙂

Chasing Joy

That is a good line. It get’s their attention and maybe even a laugh. I have experienced some of this behavior before. A friend gave me something to read one day that explained that sometimes the naysayers in our lives are there to challenge us to see all sides (not just the bright side). Since then I look at the intentions of the person who is not sharing in my joy. If their in tentions are good I’ll not take it personally. When they are posing all kinds of what if and negative scenarios I might say something like lets… Read more »

Makeba Giles
Admin
Reply to  Chasing Joy

Greetings Chasing Joy! I’m glad that you like the line — it truly gets one’s attention, doesn’t it?

I do agree with you that intentions are important. I believe that it comes from knowing the person, too. Like you said, if you find that the intentions are not in the right place, then it’s definitely time to rethink the relationship. I love your thoughts on this! ~Thank you so much for sharing here with me! 🙂

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