I recently had two incidents where some of my friends and family members experienced the death of a loved one. Upon hearing the news, I wanted to immediately reach out to support them and be there for them (like I usually do in such cases). However this time was much different.
It’s different because I am still very heavily dealing with the loss of my Dad. And while it was a few months ago, I am not at place emotionally to handle any more grief or sadness of death. Just the mention of it or even seeing it in movies and TV stirs up feelings of grief that I’m already struggling to manage. I’m not being self-centered: the bottom line is that it’s hard for me to be a strong for someone else who is grieving over their loved ones’ passing when I’m a basket-case for the same reason.
How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
Have you ever been in this situation?
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How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
I applaud those who don’t have a problem with helping others grieve during their time of loss. But if you are like me and need some pointers on ways to get through it, here are some tips below:
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How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
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Explain
You are not emotionally capable of hearing or discussing anything regarding the passing of a loved one right now – and that is totally okay. However your friend or family member may not understand this, and take your lack of communication as being uncaring. Explain your feelings. Let the other person know what’s going on, and that they really are in your thoughts. Simply making a quick call or sending a short email will assure them that you are sympathetic to what they are going through.
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How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
A Kind Gesture
Follow your communication up with a kind gesture from the heart. Send a bouquet of flowers or a card – or both. Offer to take them to a movie or play to get a breather from their environment. If they have small children, offer to babysit while they take some time alone. Reach out and ask if there is anything that they need that you may be able to help with. This will give them a sense of comfort while keeping discussion at a minimal.
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How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
The Unseen
If what’s mentioned above proves to be too emotionally difficult, there is still one more thing that you can do: pray. Praying for your friend or family member that they may be continuously comforted in their time of grieving will help far more than you know. When you cannot find the strength to do anything else in the moment, just let the other person know that they are in your prayers.
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How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
Experiencing difficulties in helping others grieve while you are grieving yourself isn’t selfish. However it’s important that the other person that is grieving understands this as well. By taking little steps to balance support with silence, you can give out the care and comfort your friend or loved one needs without taking in more emotional weight to escalate feelings of your own loss.
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How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
Have you ever had to help others grieve when you are grieving? What practices/methods did you use to balance your support and your own emotions? Share with me below or tell me about it at: melisasource@yahoo.com.
How To Help Others Grieve When You Are Grieving
