A few weeks ago I did part one of analyzing the brothers from the Tyler Perry movie Good Deeds. In my first installment, I decoded Walter Deeds, the character played by actor Brian White. In this final part of the series, I will decode the anatomy of the character Wesley Deeds and show how the some of the layers of his life are very similar to our own.
Wesley Deeds had four main life issues:
Wesley Deeds was caught in the very center of everything. He was viewed by everyone as the nucleus of his family, shouldering the burden of “keeping the family peace” while at the same time ensuring that each individual member of his family was okay in addition to successfully managing the family business. Everyone looked to Wesley for the solutions to their problems, and he was expected to resolve them. Not only was this obligation placed on him by his family, but because of events of the past, he also placed it on himself. I thought about how so many times we are placed in the same situation. We are involuntarily designated as the “burden-bearer” and peacekeeper with our families, our work environments, or both. Sometimes we allow happenings from the past to make us feel obligated to certain people or things in our lives—even when those people and things are hurting us. It is always difficult for us to see that trying to uphold such false senses of obligation not only cause us to unintentionally neglect our own problems, but also create more stress and strife for us than create good.
Because of his many obligations, Wesley became the master of composure. It was required of him to always have everything under control both internally and externally. He was expected to never display anything to anyone other than being cool, calm, and collected. As a result, many times he fought very hard with himself to “keep his face right” when the truth was that he had many emotions that were paining him to hold inside. Watching him made me realize how many of us fight hard every day to pretend like everything in our lives is just fine. Day by day we work so hard to keep it together for everyone to see on the outside, but in reality on the inside we are falling apart. Like Wesley, behind our smiles feel alone in our feelings because since everyone looks to us as being the problem-solver, it can be difficult to go to them whenever we have a problem.
(Photo Credit: Tyler Perry Studios)
Wesley Deeds had quite a few inner struggles-ones that we oftentimes have ourselves. His biggest struggle was choosing between what he wanted for his life and what everyone else expected from him. His entire life he stayed in a comfort zone— a box not that he created, but one that was instead created for him. He wasn’t happy with his life but yet he wasn’t sure whether he deserved anything different because he never took the time to discover who he truly was. This made me reflect on how often this happens: we fulfill the plans and meet others’ expectations for our their careers and personal lives, but yet we don’t feel quite complete because no matter how great it may be considered to be by others, the life that we have is not the one that we truly desired. What’s worse is that we really don’t know exactly what we desire because we have never explored who we are.
From there, I wondered just how many people act on their feelings–to take a leap of faith, step outside of their comfort zones and make steps toward the things in life that they want. Wesley Deeds put his own dreams aside to carry out the dreams of others. Maybe he did this because his dreams were looked at as being silly by those he was closest to. Maybe it was because there were very few people in his life who understood his dreams. Nevertheless, he disregarded his own feelings and instead heeded to the opinions of others, and the result was him living a life he never wanted.
How many of us do the very same? We can feel that something is missing in our lives, and oftentimes we know what it is, but we put our feelings aside because of, well—life. We try to convey to others what we are feeling and the dreams and goals that we would like to accomplish for ourselves, but because they don’t fit the status quo, they are looked down upon by our family and friends. Pretty soon, we start to believe the pessimism and “get real” attitude of others and place our dreams on the shelf. Meanwhile, from the outside our lives are viewed as full, when we know that on the inside we feel empty.
The characters of Wesley and Walter Deeds were both very moving to me. Their frustrations, pains, and inner struggles helped me to take a closer look at the issues that many of us deal with every day, whether it is with our own lives or through the lives of our loved ones. Overall, Tyler Perry Good Deeds truly challenged me to work harder to look beyond a person’s surface—that behind the calm and the smile, or even behind the frown and the anger, there may be something more there that is crying out for someone to care for.
Have you seen the movie Good Deeds? Did you relate to the Wesley Deeds character? What other characters in the movie did you relate to? Have you are someone close to you experienced any of the life issues stated above? If so, how did you handle them? Share with me below of tell me about it at: email@example.com.